It's really hard to go from who I was to who I want to be. It's not like I'm becoming a whole new person. I'm becoming a better version of me. A happier me. And I'm not going to lie, it's been hard to break old habits and sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just walked away from everything I'm pursuing so that everyone would talk to me again and be okay with me, but it's not right. What I'm doing right now is right. And I am going to take the advice of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost to help guide me for the rest of my life because I have prayed about it and I have felt calm when I prayed for peace and I have been blessed when I've prayed for blessings and every time I pray, I feel better. And I will continue to pray that those who are not happy with my decision will come to see that it has made me a happier, better person and be willing to support their friend, as I would support them in any endeavor that was right for them. Already I know, I am one very blessed girl.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
i am one very blessed girl.
Yesterday I was baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Ladder Day Saints and today I was confirmed in church. I feel absolutely amazing. The blessing my dad gave me was beautiful and I'm lucky that a lady from church wrote it down so that I can keep it forever. I was really overwhelmed stepping into the baptismal font and I started crying even before everything started. And after I received the gift of the Holy Ghost, I started crying again. They were tears of unconditional and inexplainable gratefulness. I have never felt this way in my life. Happy for no reason. I've been happy before, but it's been because good things were happening or coming, but right now, I am happy for no apparent reason. Just plain old happy. It's the most amazing feeling ever, effortless happiness. I was stunned at how many people came to support me, and am also continually stunned how many people do not support me.
It's really hard to go from who I was to who I want to be. It's not like I'm becoming a whole new person. I'm becoming a better version of me. A happier me. And I'm not going to lie, it's been hard to break old habits and sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just walked away from everything I'm pursuing so that everyone would talk to me again and be okay with me, but it's not right. What I'm doing right now is right. And I am going to take the advice of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost to help guide me for the rest of my life because I have prayed about it and I have felt calm when I prayed for peace and I have been blessed when I've prayed for blessings and every time I pray, I feel better. And I will continue to pray that those who are not happy with my decision will come to see that it has made me a happier, better person and be willing to support their friend, as I would support them in any endeavor that was right for them. Already I know, I am one very blessed girl.
It's really hard to go from who I was to who I want to be. It's not like I'm becoming a whole new person. I'm becoming a better version of me. A happier me. And I'm not going to lie, it's been hard to break old habits and sometimes I wonder what would happen if I just walked away from everything I'm pursuing so that everyone would talk to me again and be okay with me, but it's not right. What I'm doing right now is right. And I am going to take the advice of God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost to help guide me for the rest of my life because I have prayed about it and I have felt calm when I prayed for peace and I have been blessed when I've prayed for blessings and every time I pray, I feel better. And I will continue to pray that those who are not happy with my decision will come to see that it has made me a happier, better person and be willing to support their friend, as I would support them in any endeavor that was right for them. Already I know, I am one very blessed girl.
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congrats! Even though I'm not religious, I still support your decision. You have the right to be happy and you have the right to do what makes you happy. And if people can't support that, then they were never your real friends. It makes me happy to know your happy and I support whatever you want to do that makes you happy! Love you Venyce. :) P.s. Sorry I couldn't be there, I really wanted to.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Taylor. That really does mean a lot to me because I feel like I've lost a connection with a lot of friends throughout this pursuit so every friend that supports me just thrills me, but it is definitely what was missing in my life! I love you very much, and no worries about not being able to come! I heard you had some food poisoning. :(
ReplyDeleteI agree real friends support you no matter who you are. I am glad you are feeling better about your life and who you are. I loved reading about your feeling of baptism. I don't remember feeling much since I was 8. I would just recommend holding onto the those feelings especially through tough times. Earl & I often talk about how its easy to believe something when blessings and miracles happen and then people tend to fall away because the effect of them has worn off.
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