Every time someone makes their dramatic exit from my life, I panic. I'm stumped at why I feel like some people are so irreplaceable and why when one person leaves, another must take his place. I have always felt like that, like someone had to be in my sights for me to feel happy. And although in the past, I have followed the same process, I've gained experience and somewhere in there, I got smart.
I mean no offense, but I am relieved to be single again. I consistently felt like I was not good enough but that the potential for me to be someone else was what held us together. And I could not live with that, or like that. So much has been changing and so many of my feelings have been back and forth that I feel like I really need to focus on me and my goals. Delving into all these new experiences the past few months have opened my eyes. I have realized parts of who I am, and parts of who I definitely am not. I am still figuring it all out and still fighting to figure the rest of it out... but isn't it wonderful that we are all flexible enough to be grow from experience, to bend for opportunities, and to chase after our dreams? Isn't it beautiful that with a little work, the whole world is right at our fingertips?
Last week I was in San Francisco thinking about all the people in the city- all the people I could meet, all the people I could know, all the people I could love. This week I found myself on the other side of the country in Pittsburgh staring down at the city thinking about all the people again- all the people that could laugh with me, all the people that could teach me, all the people that could love me.
I have always known many things that I love. My family, my friends, my dog. I have always felt the need to work with people, for people. I have always felt the need to volunteer, to learn about different cultures, different people, different experience. I have always loved and needed my empathy, my openness, my big heart. At this moment, I'm twenty-three years old and I know my journey is only beginning.
